SACRIFICE AND COMMITMENT

Definitions. Sacrifice is foregoing personal interest for the sake of relationship (Stanley, Whitton, Sadberry, Clements, and Markman, 2006). The Latin root of the word sacrifice helps define the word further: “Sacer means holy, consecrated, sacred, or dedicated to divinity… facere means making, taking action, composing, or creating… sacrificium… then is to make something sacred or holy” (Burr et al., 2012, p. 11).  This definition is a little bit different than altruism, which is selfless consideration for the welfare of others. Usually sacrifice and altruism go hand in hand, but sacrifice emphasizing making a simple action sacred, not only foregoing with altruistic intentions.

Secular sacrifice and needs. In today’s economy-based society, people often view sacrifice as an exchange. If a spouse’s first priority is self-interest, he or she will expect something in return for foregoing personal needs. Adopting an “I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine” attitude will not yield as many positive results in marriage as altruistic sacrifice. While couples should seek to sacrifice selflessly, they need to realize that it is ok to have personal needs and to expect your spouse to meet them. Altruistic sacrifice is something you do because the relationship is sacred to you, not because you ignore your own needs.

Positive outcomes of sacrifice. Every time a spouse sacrifices for the relationship, it is like making a deposit in a bank account. Eventually that relationship will be rich with positive marital outcomes. Burr et al. (2012) enumerates that frequent sacrifice creates a safe atmosphere of trust between spouses brings satisfaction and commitment. Even in cases of one-sided giving, there is often an internal reward- not our motivation, but a good reward from heaven- build relationship with self- becoming a better person and that is satisfactory.

Transformative effect. Burr et al. (2012) point out that when one partner sacrifices, he or she communicates powerful symbols of love, selflessness, reliability, and devotion. When a partner is the recipient of sacrifice, they see devotion from their partner, and are inclined to reciprocate, which will increase devotion, which will increase sacrifice. This creates a positive cycle full of marital satisfaction. Additionally, the more an individual sacrifices for the relationship, the less concerned he becomes about himself, and the more invested and committed he is in the relationship. The more committed one feels in a relationship, the more likely he is to sacrifice.

I also want to testify that as we sacrifice for the good of our families we will come closer to our Savior who sacrificed for us. 

see references in earlier post