Religiosity helps. Fiese and Tomcho (2001) hypothesized that
religiosity increases marital satisfaction not because of the rituals
themselves, but because of the meaning and connection the context of the
rituals provides. Their excellent study concluded, “that religion is related to
marital satisfaction through the meaning created in shared rituals” (Fiese et
al., 2001). Empty rituals, or going through the motions, wouldn’t increase
marital satisfaction because it would be void of meaning and lack connection,
which is a very different scenario than a couple engaged in a ritual that is
meaningful to both of them and increase
unity as they share in the ritual.
Rituals defined. Fiese et al. (2001) defined rituals
repetitive patterned interactions that are shared by two or more individuals
and that have special meaning to the participants.” Examples of rituals might
be having breakfast for dinner every Christmas Eve with the whole family or
reading the New Testament together every Easter. Rituals could also include couple prayer
before bed every night or attending church every Sunday as a family.
The more meaning
that is attached to the ritual, the higher the benefits related to marital
satisfaction (Fiese et al., 2001).
Proximal variables are the actual activities themselves like family
scripture study or church attendance. These activities are more closely
correlated to positive benefits. Distal variables are more removed, like
influence from rituals in each spouse’s family of origin. These distal
variables still have an effect on the amount of meaning in rituals, but less so
than current practices. In the Marks (2004) article, he discussed the results
of interviews about meaning in religious practices in families. He gave some
background statistics about how prominent religion is in American homes. He
cites that religious beleifs, practices, and community have been correlated
with “higher marital quality, stability, and satisfaction”(Marks, 2004). He
also cites research hat says “religious activity may contribute to intimacy and
commitment in marriage.)” The point of Marks’ article is to explore the reasons
behind these correlations.
Rituals with meaning. Fiese & Tomcho (2001) described how
rituals have two components: routines and
meaning. The routine is the repeated action or roles consistently kept, and
meaning can range from expectations for attendance, level of importance,
symbolism, and “commitment to continue into the future and to the next
generation” (Fiese et al., 2001). Fiese et al. (2001) explain that meaningful
rituals, like a couple praying together, will only increase marital
satisfaction and other positive affect, like a couple staying together if they
have three key elements:
“affirmation of
relationship.” This means important members of the family must be accounted for
and participate together; it helps members feel valued and needed.
“connection of
behaviors and values.” This aspect connects to the every day living aspect of
rituals, like adding meaning to family values.
“the symbolic
aspect.” This aspect obviously includes the symbols associated with the ritual,
especially religious symbols. Christmas dinner, for example, would be special
because it is tied to the birth of the Savior.
Benefits. The most interesting part of Marks’
(2004) research was the list of why
couples engage in religious rituals. Some thing include to teach their children
their faith, to encourage family unity and order, to build connection and
history, to better handle stress and tribulation, to encourage kindness,
gratitude and other virtues, and to connect to God. Couples also reported many
benefits: repose, regular schedule, high quality of life, stronger marriage,
and peace (Marks, 2004). Other results Marks (2004) reported were being
consistent in practice with things parents teach their children. It makes sense
that this result would strengthen families, because it fosters trust and
reliability in parent-child and spousal relationships. Some participants
reported that they participated in religious activities just to be together.
The families reported that rituals usually had deep meaning that would sort of
ground them in life.
see earlier post for references
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